tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7097017478484712415.post3514947293775416825..comments2023-03-25T23:13:13.610+13:00Comments on Springston Waka Endeavour: Five Sentence Challenge: Bus StopUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7097017478484712415.post-63837584886901886302014-09-21T11:38:01.248+12:002014-09-21T11:38:01.248+12:00Brilliant work Alfonso - you were the only person ...Brilliant work Alfonso - you were the only person in the 'Boys Box' to get your writing finished and up on the Five Sentence Challenge.<br /><br />I really like the way you have used extra pieces of a sentence (clause) to begin: In the distance, Beside a small building. This helps me know where things are happening and just give me lots more detail.<br /><br />Challenge:<br />Use your 'Writer's Eyes' when you edit. Read it out loud because I can see some sentences without capitals and some of them sound a bit odd. You ears will tell you which tiny bits need fixing.<br /><br />Keep up your great writing Alfonso.Allana Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13794373268721064965noreply@blogger.com